WHEN LIFE BRINGS THE UNBEARABLE

Several years ago, a friend’s daughter lost a close high school friend to suicide. My friend asked me if I had anything to send them as a source of comfort and understanding. She knew that I have lived experience with suicide: My father took his own life in 2008, and I suffered terrifying suicidal ideation during my journey through and ultimate recovery from a major depression in 2013. Having just learned this morning of another of these unbearable tragedies, I decided to publish here an edited version of what I wrote for my friend and her daughter:

Continue reading

GOOD NIGHT MOON, GOOD NIGHT PHONE

(Device Use Disorder in the smartphone age.)

INTRODUCTION

Before handheld phones got smart, they were called “cell” phones. What a wonderfully ironic name for a device that, as Apple boosts its IQ, locks so many of us into isolation. Which leads me to today’s topic: Are these ubiquitous machines, and the social media they inject into our heads, addictive?

Some self-styled Masters of the Tech Universe seem to think so; a number of them have tried to limit their own kids’ screen time to protect their vulnerable noggins from the apps other Techies cook up in their coding cauldrons.

Yet, despite mounting evidence to the contrary, many Tech Masters aggressively deny that their products can be dangerous or addictive. To unpack this conundrum, let’s look at some studies, read what the Masters themselves say about their products’ potential for teen harm and addiction, and then take an at-home addiction test.


Continue reading

HAPPY NEW DAY (REDUX)!

The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men…lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain.   

Robert Burns (1785)

INTRODUCTION

Those of my Dear Readers who follow Light at Sea may remember an earlier version of this post I published 365 days ago. Why post it again? Because it’s a reminder that New Year’s resolutions are a two-edged sword and should be made, if at all, carefully and realistically. Second, I’ve been working on humility, and reading it again reminds me that I have a strong streak of hypocrisy that evokes this clever saying I heard in an AA meeting recently: “Take my advice; I’m not using it.” To wit, last December 31, although I cautioned against making New Year’s resolutions at all, I still made some, and then failed to keep most of ’em. That a few were torpedoed by forces majeure (a wildfire followed by a breakthrough Delta case) is a lame excuse.

So, here we go again, with cites to some updated studies, one of my own silly stories, and some thoughts on mitigating the frustrations involved in making these insane promises to ourselves (and to others–who don’t care anyway).

Continue reading

THEY LIKE US JUST THE WAY WE ARE.

(Why impostor syndrome is itself an impostor.)

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two impostors just the same.

If, Rudyard Kipling

INTRODUCTION

Fred Rogers may have liked us just the way we are, but most of us don’t share his upbeat opinion. We gnash our teeth and silently scream, “I hate myself!” We’re sure that any success that might have drifted our way was just luck, not ability.

Continue reading

IT TAKES A SEAL TEAM

No [person] left behind. USMC

INTRODUCTION.

“It takes a village.” “There’s strength in numbers.”  These wise cliches notwithstanding, so many of us lead lives of isolation, a physical reality and harmful state of mind that are being exacerbated day after day as COVID cases increase. Today, I will talk about combating the depression and fear that loneliness often brings.

Continue reading

ZENNIS

(Mindfulness and the Spin of the Ball)

The first skill needed for the inner game is called ‘letting it happen’. W. Timothy Gallwey, “Tennis: Playing the Game.”

In my cozy, book-lined blog workshop, I have been trying to write a post on meditation and its first cousin, mindfulness.  Because I am a neophyte practitioner of these time-honored arts, I decided to start with a subject that I know more about: tennis. What has that time-honored sport got to do with mindfulness, you may ask? Please read on.

Continue reading

EXERCISE SHOULDN’T BE THE ‘E’ WORD.

There are few things that you can’t do if you are willing to apply yourself.

Greg Lemond

INTRODUCTION

“Go get some exercise!” Great advice! After all, the mental and physical health benefits of daily exercise are tremendous. For folks like me who practice self-care to manage depression, it has been wonderful to experience directly what studies show:  Regular, modest exercise is at least as effective as antidepressants. Healthy Living.

So, why is it sometimes so bloody hard to follow this great advice? What follows are some thoughts on how to actually look forward to exercising rather than dreaming up excuses not to.

Continue reading

IT’S THE HELMET, SILLY

(Smarter cycling in the smartphone age.)

Having talked a bit about bike riding in my last post, Cycling For Justice, I want to share some risk mitigation tips I have learned training for and struggling through long organized rides since 1996. Note that I am not using the words “safe” or “safety.” As with anything worth doing, cycling has a number of risks. Although they can’t be eliminated (even by the most zealous helicopter parents), here are some tips for reducing them:

Continue reading